Teen needs: connection, guidance and love

As teens begin their developmental stage of pushing away, and separating themselves from adults it is tempting for adults to simply want to let go, disconnect, and abdicate responsibility for these often less than loving youth. However a national expert, Dr. David Walsh, from the National Institute on Media and the Family declares is still tremendously important that adults continue to connect, provide guidance and love.

He noted that the largest protective factor for kids to prevent future drug abuse or teen pregnancy is connection with adults; parents, neighbors, teachers, mentors. As parents seemingly loose intellegence during this period, it is more important than ever that they have other adults in their lives to encourage positive development and decision making.

Teens still need adults to set limits and provide guidance. Research has discovered human brains don't fully develop until their early 20's, so the decision making is not going to be fully functional. Car rental companies know this, typically limiting rentals to people aged 25 and over.

Lastly, one of the core needs of all people is unconditional love. While teens can seem rather unlovable with their self focus and rejection of adults, they continue to need our love and support.

Dr. Walsh's website can be accessed at: http://www.mediafamily.org/

Study on teens lack of hopefulness

Sadly, about 15 percent of teens felt they had a 50-50 chance, or less, to live to the age of 35. Perhaps lacking hope, these teens are more likely to put themselves in danger, take drugs, attempt suicide or have unprotected sex. These findings came from a University of Minnesota study led by Dr. Iris Borowsky, associate professor from the Department of Pediatrics, and appear in the July issue of Pediatrics.

One of the key outcomes of Kinship relationships is the development of optimism. Having an adult friend who takes specific interest in a child’s welfare makes a huge difference in their outlook. I’m reminded by a testimonial by one of our kids, Matt, who recently graduated from William Mitchell College of Law. In his younger years all week long he used to look forward to Saturdays, the day Eric, his Kinship mentor, would come to meet him and play chess. Matt and his wife Stephanie are pictured below.

All kids need at least one caring adult who doesn’t have to ask them if they’ve made their bed in the morning. I’m pleased to report that fully 99% of the kids who responded to Kinship's year-end surveys felt optimistic about their future. That is something to feel good about!